A Series of Unfortunate Events

I have this feeling that I’m waiting for the floor to drop down and everything to fall out from under me. When will she meet someone else she feels the need to try things out with? How do i know she only wants to be with me? I don’t. because I know she still wants to be with Mary Sue. They didn’t break up because she didn’t want to be with her anymore. It was just an unfortunate series of events. That’s what I feel like my life is sometimes. An unfortunate series of events. Something that I’m desperately trying to fix. Trying to go to med school. Trying to be single. Trying to work hard. So that in the long run the only unfortunate events that I will have to deal with are those that are severely out of my control. Things that I cannot change from being unfortunate. When someone proposes to you you set your life plans based with them. It’s not until they leave you and then try to come back that you realize that the only thing you can commit to fully is your future. not your combined future. but Your INDIVIDUAL personal future plans. Going to school. Being a surgeon. Moving to Boston. The plan was to be independent. so now. even though things aren’t going the way that I planned and I get doubtful of how completely I can trust the future plans of being with her. I know for a fact nothing will change what MY plans are for ME. And I think that’s the point we were planning on getting to. now. If only it were as easy to live by this “i don’t care what happens because I know where i’m going” type attitude as it is to post it on my tumblr. So now. The feeling returns…